LivingGood

This weekend I was able to secure a piece of furniture, which I intend to modify to become my Little Free Library. It is a cute piece, a small wooden curio cabinet with glass shelves and two doors, it also has an electricity element. I intend to convert it to solar and also rebuild the glass shelves out of wood and modify the exterior to be able to withstand the outdoor elements.  I also visited my local Home Depot and secured materials to begin sanding and painting the piece with exterior paint. I will use Wood glue to secure the hinges and replace the current hardware with more durable outdoor materials.  I found some fence posts, which will be attached to the current legs so to easily plant the little library into the ground.  The cabinet was a great find, I can reuse the piece of furniture instead of building the shelf from new materials. I have also been able to salvage 6 pieces of wood, an electric sander, and plexiglass. Reusing material, and bor...

Taxol. My bones. My knees My toes. My belly grows. The last treatment has got me in a loop. I can feel my skin with every touch. My knees ache while I make an effort to sleep. I feel my ankles, a straining feeling like over use. My neck, my back, my butt. I can feel my fingertips, the skin stretching around my fingers, tightening. My fingers are numbed, my scars feel the strain and stretch. Stabbings and pin pricks. I have gained ten pounds since beginning this new treatment and my stomach is protruding out while suffering from bloat. Food has been a comfort. I want to quit the starch and dairy, but it’s the only thing that makes me feel… well, comfort. My body hurts, I feel exhausted, but I can’t sleep. The drugs prescribed exhaust me more than sooth, nodding out while I type. Norco, muscle relaxers, ib profrin, thc nothing is more comforting then mac and cheese. Headaches. Knees. Toes. Belly grows. ...

I could use a vacation from these treatments. I'm trying to keep the glass half full, but all these bitches (friends <3 I love) are taking vacations to the beach, and I can't help but feel dumpy and jealous.   The travel bug has got a hold of me and I wish I was not plugged into this treatment plan for another three months. It feels like I'm wasting my life away with all the mundane trips to the Dr. to get poisoned and then recovering from the poisoning just to get poisoned again.  Just four more treatments! We spent Saturday at Turner Falls, not quite the beach, but I got my nature fix. I was able to spend time away from home and had a nice adventure with my love. The trip was to see John Waters do a talk at the Ada film festival; patting myself on the back for seeing all his films. Traveling across the state through Oklahoma spring thunderstorms was an adventure in itself. The storm left the valley floor flooded at the falls, so we were not able to ...

A very nice woman approached me while I was shopping for head bands and shit at The Rack, she wanted me to know that life will continue after all the treatment is done. She was an older gal, probably in her mid 60's. She beat cancer got a new job as a medical specialist at Healing Hands; coincidently a low income clinic where my mother worked before. She has travelled to London, Ireland, and the Caribbean if I remember right, but, I'm probably lying to you because my short term memories are falling out like my hair, after cancer she wanted to do the things she always wanted to do. She seemed really happy to share this with me, and I accepted her story. I did not find a head scarf. After the rack I went to the Civic Center to volunteer at The Lion King for opening night, I volunteer so that I can see shows for free. And no, I did not find a head scarf so I had to  go to the theater bald. I am warming up to this new image of myself, but it's dramatic to be a bald chick....

I love Wonder Woman she is a warrior!

This is a chemo week, on Friday I’ll be getting my third knock out round of Adriamycin and Cytoxan drugs.   My treatments are every other Friday. One more round of the A&C combo and then I get to look forward to five rounds of Taxol. If the treatments follow the schedule I’ll be finished by my 37th birthday, the first week of July. My last round of chemo will be on the 4th of July. So at least I might be able to enjoy my ice cream cake before nausea takes over. Chemo is preventative, just like my preventative bilateral mastectomy. The chemo should lower my statistical predisposition to the cancer reemerge. Dr. Dureka, the first Oncologist that I saw at OU, said the statistical likelihood of cancer coming back is upwards to 60% likely without chemo, but with chemo and possibly radiation following the stats drop to 30%. It’s like a choose your own adventure book with every new Dr. visit. Maybe this next visit will send me to someplace tropical with warm sands and beautiful c...