The show must go on.

A very nice woman approached me while I was shopping for head bands and shit at The Rack, she wanted me to know that life will continue after all the treatment is done. She was an older gal, probably in her mid 60's. She beat cancer got a new job as a medical specialist at Healing Hands; coincidently a low income clinic where my mother worked before. She has travelled to London, Ireland, and the Caribbean if I remember right, but, I'm probably lying to you because my short term memories are falling out like my hair, after cancer she wanted to do the things she always wanted to do. She seemed really happy to share this with me, and I accepted her story. I did not find a head scarf.

After the rack I went to the Civic Center to volunteer at The Lion King for opening night, I volunteer so that I can see shows for free. And no, I did not find a head scarf so I had to go to the theater bald. I am warming up to this new image of myself, but it's dramatic to be a bald chick. Nonetheless, the show must go on. A woman approached me and said that i looked beautiful, and that she liked my shaved head. A family of three asked me if it was a choice to have my bald head, but I responded that no it was because of cancer. Being bold everyday is tiresome.

At 7-11 someone paid for my coffee, a very nice gesture and I will always take a complimentary coffee. People are beginning to notice that I am sick, and it's a hard feeling to be noticed for being sick. When I was a kid I would dye my hair, wear punk and rave attire, dress up and put on makeup, I was okay with being noticed as a creative, an alternative, a freak some would say.

I calmed my outward appearance in my late 20's to one more professional or at least a less vivid constant outward expression. I wish to be a chameleon. My privilege you could call it, white woman without tattoos & piercings, gets me in doors whether or not I'm supposed to be there.

I made a really yummy tuna salad this week here's the recipe.

2 cans of tuna in water (trader joes albacore)

1 avocado

1 cup shredded carrot

1 tbsp mustard

2 tbsp mayo or use yogurt
Sprinkle of trader joes everything bagel salt

Comments

I'm going to miss this little guy.

This is a chemo week, on Friday I’ll be getting my third knock out round of Adriamycin and Cytoxan drugs. My treatments are every other Friday. One more round of the A&C combo and then I get to look forward to five rounds of Taxol. If the treatments follow the schedule I’ll be finished by my 37th birthday, the first week of July. My last round of chemo will be on the 4th of July. So at least I might be able to enjoy my ice cream cake before nausea takes over. Chemo is preventative, just like my preventative bilateral mastectomy. The chemo should lower my statistical predisposition to the cancer reemerge. Dr. Dureka, the first Oncologist that I saw at OU, said the statistical likelihood of cancer coming back is upwards to 60% likely without chemo, but with chemo and possibly radiation following the stats drop to 30%. It’s like a choose your own adventure book with every new Dr. visit. Maybe this next visit will send me to someplace tropical with warm sands and beautiful c...

Jump!

I could use a vacation from these treatments. I'm trying to keep the glass half full, but all these bitches (friends <3 I love) are taking vacations to the beach, and I can't help but feel dumpy and jealous. The travel bug has got a hold of me and I wish I was not plugged into this treatment plan for another three months. It feels like I'm wasting my life away with all the mundane trips to the Dr. to get poisoned and then recovering from the poisoning just to get poisoned again. Just four more treatments! We spent Saturday at Turner Falls, not quite the beach, but I got my nature fix. I was able to spend time away from home and had a nice adventure with my love. The trip was to see John Waters do a talk at the Ada film festival; patting myself on the back for seeing all his films. Traveling across the state through Oklahoma spring thunderstorms was an adventure in itself. The storm left the valley floor flooded at the falls, so we were not able to ...

The Best Dahl you have ever had

Soak two cups of red lentils, rinse them until foamy water runs clear. 1 tsp of coconut oil One small yellow onion Two garlic cloves A pinky nub of ginger & a nub of fresh turmeric root diced fine. Sauté in a heavy cast iron dutch oven until the onion is almost transparent. Add the Lentils and Three cups of water and cook the beans until liquid is almost gone and Stir in 1 can of coconut milk 1Tbsp of gram masala spice Season with salt, pepper, and parsley leaf. I put the Dahl over rice and topped it with sautéed leek, squash, yellow peppers, and shrimp.

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