Oops I got poked.

Dr. Varghese wants me to keep a written journal of my reactions to the chemotherapy. My first Chemo treatment was the last Friday of March. I am ready for it to be done. My treatments are scheduled to take place on every other Friday until the first Friday in July. My birthday is July 3rd so my final chemo will be a very happy birthday present to celebrate the end of chemo.

The first treatment was so nervous for me. I went into the hospital visit prepared. I brought with me my bag of goodies I had been given from chemo class, which had taken the previous week. The class was informative, it helped to relieve some anxiety at least I had some expectations; hair loss, nausea, fatigue and lack of interest in food.

Husband of a gal approached me after class and exclaimed that he sensed that I had been a healthy eater from my interjections about food during our class, but he said, you still got cancer. I’m unsure if he was telling me to hang up my healthy eating hat because wtf is the point? Or what he meant exactly by sharing his two cents.

Nevertheless, I was full of anxiety and anticipation for how MY body would react to the drugs.

My Dr. appointment began with blood work, height and weight checks, and a visit with my Oncologist Dr. Varghese, my mom and Jason joined me for my first appointment. I just wanted to get it over with, so I would finally know how the poisons were going to affect me. I remember waiting in the waiting room for a chair to free up in the chemo room I was so anxious, I just wanted it to be done so I could know how It was going to go.

It is hard for me to take other people’s experiences that they want to share with me about their cancer treatment/diagnosis and internalize it for my own story. I want to experience my own experience. I don’t want to take on someone else’s symptoms or problems. Which is why going to a support group sounds like a bad idea. I don’t want to be brainwashed. My sisters friend had lost her appetite for fresh salad greens, I don’t want to not like salads because she did not have a taste for them, I want to not like salads because of my own issues.

I ate a wedge salad today and loved every green bite of it. Oops! I should not have eaten that salad because, who knows if BJ’s washed the lettuce good enough.

I had Acupuncture after my treatment too, another no no. They say it could cause an infection. Dr. Varghese was against it. However, I have done some research and many cancer patients get it done, and my friend Tulasi said her friend had acupuncture before her treatments and was less nauseated on the days she had been poked compared to the days she missed acupuncture.

The Korean Acupuncturist, whom I was referred to by my mother’s hair dresser for over 20 years, did not speak English at all. It was hard to convey to him that he could not poke my right arm for fear of lymphopenia. Jason seemed so nervous watching the Dr. go to work poking my chest, both arms, and belly. I thought he was going to kick the guy when he started with my right arm! But no lymphopenia, everything is fine. I think that I need to get another acupuncture therapist who can understand me. I’m not going to tell my Dr. SHHHHH!

The days following chemo I felt really tired and I had no appetite. I had a bad quiche Friday following chemo for lunch, and the buttery crust is still haunting my taste buds. Every time I eat tortillas, pita, and any breads really, I taste that buttery crust again.  Water is only satisfying when it is cold, where before I preferred it at room temperature, and sparkly water is best cold with citrus flavors.

I skipped work on Monday. I was so tired, and I could not tell what nausea was going to do to me. I never vomited, but I only was eating comfort foods. Mashed potatoes, bagel with avocado, and cottage cheese and peas. I ate one bite of a cheese tamale and felt like a balloon was going to burst in my stomach. Spice is not so nice. I am going to try to include more protein in my diet next week.

Swim class the following Tuesday was just what I needed after spending a few days horizontal. I recently joined a triathlon group, they meet at venues around the city to ready participants for triathlon races. I will be able to benefit from the swim sessions to start with, but maybe after my chemo is completed I’ll take part in a triathlon! #goals.