My mother said that I had the most beautiful shaped head of
all her daughters. Tomorrow I begin Chemo treatments to prevent the spread of
breast cancer throughout my body. I was diagnosed with stage three breast
cancer in January. I was able to stop the spread by removing my breasts and
about 27 lymph nodes living underneath my right arm. Now my right arm will be
forever susceptible to circulation loss so I will be unable to use tourniquets
or needles on the right side ever again. Having chemo treatments is another
prophylactic treatment, like my decision to remove my left breast to reduce the
risk of the cancer spreading throughout my body. I can reduce the risk from 60%
to about 30% by having chemotherapy for the next four months. I hope my
36-year-old head is still as beautiful as my baby cranium was back in the day.
I needed to remove the right breast to remove all of the
cancer, I had her take the left too because how ridiculous would it look to
have just the one size 36 H tit hanging off my chest. Cancer is completely
unreasonable and the effects of chemotherapy will be nothing less than a
complete havoc reaping to all my protons and neutrons. From my hormones to my
heart to my hair, my whole body is about to be fucked with hard. I will have to have hormone therapy for the
rest of my life to regulate my estrogen levels. Well kids, I am beginning to
find that cancer is not an easy fix, I can’t just cut it out and be finished
with it. This cancer will be reverberating through my life forever.
Estrogen receptors are found on adrenals glands, skin, bone
marrow, and of course the ovaries. Because the cancer is estrogen hormone
positive I can’t eat estrogen filled foods like tofu and beets. I really like
tofu, I’m vegetarian and I like to have a tofu kabassa dog at a barbq
sometimes. But removing my ovaries could be a solution for my body, I would
produce less estrogen and could avoid taking Tamoxifen another havoc reaping
drug for the next five to ten years. I would go through early menopause, which
means no more period and no babies.
I hope my head is still the prettiest of them all. I guess
I’ll have to get a haircut to know.
I’ve had short hair I had a pixie cut with little spit curls
in my punk/raver days. The inverted bob was all the rage in the 90’s. I’ve died
my hair every color in the rainbow, and once I even did rainbow stripes through
my hair. I have never ever gone all the
way and shaved my head. Never, not my own head. I did fuck up my friend little
Erin’s hair giving her a Mohawk when we were teenagers. It was kind of shocking
to me that she trusted me to cut it in the first place. We ended up begging my
sister Rae to help us save her haircut, but she was not capable to do much with
the uneven mess that I had made. We ended up shaving it all off anyway.
My hair now is the longest it's ever been in my life. Long
hair is the style these days, and I like my hair long. But, It's just hair. I’m considering cutting it and
donating to Locks of love or Pantene. Both are organizations that will make a
wig from my hair for sick people, like me I guess, who lose their hair. My
sister Sarah asked me to could get a wig made from my own hair. IDK, I guess I
should google it.
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