LivingGood

“Winning Cancer and Fighting for Information” My mother is a nurse, growing up we always had a card hanging from the shower nozzle with a diagram explaining how to check for lumps in your breasts. The ritual is simple, place one hand behind the nape of your neck, and while rubbing the breast in a circular motion massage the breast and feel for any lumps around the circumference of the breasts. I did not always remember to check in the shower, but sometimes I would remember to check before dozing off to sleep.  It was December 2016 between Christmas and Hanukkah when I found my lump. It felt like a lump of coal under my skin. I guess If I believed in Santa Clause this would mean that I was on the naughty list.  During the last couple of years, I have had to expand my medical vocabulary in response to my diagnosis of stage 3, hormone receptor-positive, BRACA gene negative, ductal carcinoma in situ invasive breast cancer. Before diagnosis, if you would have said any of those wo

I contacted the 3D printer lab at OU, and will touch base with them again early next week so to begin printing a 3-D aleph bet, I am sure I will use these letters for my Hebrew school classes, and also try to incorporate them into my little library design This weeks work was spent taking apart the small shelf, it needed to be disassembled to get reassembled again into an outdoor shelving unit. I was able to borrow a drill and a set of small screw drivers from my family, and a little sander from a friend. I had thought of using the HUB on campus for the construction of my little library, but it has been convenient to work from home.  I used an electric drill to remove the screws, glass, and shelves. I will have to get plexiglass measured to replace the glass doors glass shelves the curio cabinet originally came with. I also plan to replace the mirrored back that the shelf originally had with a chalk board or peg board backing.  Pixie, Klondyke, Lolla, and Mario were good dog

This weekend I was able to secure a piece of furniture, which I intend to modify to become my Little Free Library. It is a cute piece, a small wooden curio cabinet with glass shelves and two doors, it also has an electricity element. I intend to convert it to solar and also rebuild the glass shelves out of wood and modify the exterior to be able to withstand the outdoor elements.  I also visited my local Home Depot and secured materials to begin sanding and painting the piece with exterior paint. I will use Wood glue to secure the hinges and replace the current hardware with more durable outdoor materials.  I found some fence posts, which will be attached to the current legs so to easily plant the little library into the ground.  The cabinet was a great find, I can reuse the piece of furniture instead of building the shelf from new materials. I have also been able to salvage 6 pieces of wood, an electric sander, and plexiglass. Reusing material, and borrowing / scava

Taxol. My bones. My knees My toes. My belly grows. The last treatment has got me in a loop. I can feel my skin with every touch. My knees ache while I make an effort to sleep. I feel my ankles, a straining feeling like over use. My neck, my back, my butt. I can feel my fingertips, the skin stretching around my fingers, tightening. My fingers are numbed, my scars feel the strain and stretch. Stabbings and pin pricks. I have gained ten pounds since beginning this new treatment and my stomach is protruding out while suffering from bloat. Food has been a comfort. I want to quit the starch and dairy, but it’s the only thing that makes me feel… well, comfort. My body hurts, I feel exhausted, but I can’t sleep. The drugs prescribed exhaust me more than sooth, nodding out while I type. Norco, muscle relaxers, ib profrin, thc nothing is more comforting then mac and cheese. Headaches. Knees. Toes. Belly grows.

I could use a vacation from these treatments. I'm trying to keep the glass half full, but all these bitches (friends <3 I love) are taking vacations to the beach, and I can't help but feel dumpy and jealous.   The travel bug has got a hold of me and I wish I was not plugged into this treatment plan for another three months. It feels like I'm wasting my life away with all the mundane trips to the Dr. to get poisoned and then recovering from the poisoning just to get poisoned again.  Just four more treatments! We spent Saturday at Turner Falls, not quite the beach, but I got my nature fix. I was able to spend time away from home and had a nice adventure with my love. The trip was to see John Waters do a talk at the Ada film festival; patting myself on the back for seeing all his films. Traveling across the state through Oklahoma spring thunderstorms was an adventure in itself. The storm left the valley floor flooded at the falls, so we were not able to

A very nice woman approached me while I was shopping for head bands and shit at The Rack, she wanted me to know that life will continue after all the treatment is done. She was an older gal, probably in her mid 60's. She beat cancer got a new job as a medical specialist at Healing Hands; coincidently a low income clinic where my mother worked before. She has travelled to London, Ireland, and the Caribbean if I remember right, but, I'm probably lying to you because my short term memories are falling out like my hair, after cancer she wanted to do the things she always wanted to do. She seemed really happy to share this with me, and I accepted her story. I did not find a head scarf. After the rack I went to the Civic Center to volunteer at The Lion King for opening night, I volunteer so that I can see shows for free. And no, I did not find a head scarf so I had to  go to the theater bald. I am warming up to this new image of myself, but it's dramatic to be a bald chick.